I kept on getting all of these suggestions of weird occurences that happened in Denton, TX that I wasn't sure how to make a full column out of any one of them. So this is the first of maybe two (and possibly one) compilations some of those stories. I hope you enjoy.

Working Men
It was about my second year in college and Cliff, Brian, Ed and I were just hanging around in my apartment bored to tears. I don't remember who it was, maybe Ed, but someone suggested that we go up to Fry street and hang out and see if we could find something to do. We walked over, grabbed a couple of iced coffees and loitered around the front of First State Bank for awhile.

We were just standing there talking about how boring we were being when this car drove by with a girl hanging halfway out the window. Ed stepped up to the plate and screamed, "I LOVE YOU." And as they continued down the street a few seconds later he followed up with, "FUCK YOU!"

We all kind of had a laugh about what happened and thought it would be funny if they drove back by. We were talking about what we would do if they did when the car pulled back around and parked in front of us five minutes later. The girl was still halfway out the window and obviously plastered. She looked at each one of us and then finally asked of the group, "Whatcha doin?" Please add slurs when doing this, because they are very applicable.

Cliff decided to tell the truth and said, "Nothin'"

The girls brow furrowed up and then she responded. "Workin?"

Now it was Brian's turn, "Yeah, we're workin'"

She sat there for a minute looking a little confused and then waved to the driver of the car like a multimillionaire waves at their chauffeur. They drove off and we all had a good laugh. We all kind of decided that she eithter thought we were drug dealers or pimps. Either way, she was not impressed.

The Farting Pizza
Another of my favorites is about Trevor and I when we went to the Flying Tomato. It used to be that whenever Trevor would come into town from school or some other trip that we would always go to the Flying Tomato. It was a pizza place over on Fry Street and it was usually pretty interesting. This time was no different.

We ordered our pizza and then went to sit down to wait for it. Then this guy with half a head of blue hair (the left half, not that I have anything against blue hair.) came up and said, "D-d'you have HA HA HA d'you d'you d'you have any change?" This guy was lit up like a christmas tree. We told him that we didn't have any change and he walked away looking a little dejected. We saw him walk up to another table and do almost the same thing. There was a little more laughing involved, but the results were the same.

Our pizza finished cooking and we started to eat. After we had both had about a slice each, he came back. He stood in front of the table for a good thirty seconds. Just stood there, acting like it was no out of the ordinary thing to just stand in front of people as they eat. Though maybe it is perfectly normal in some cultures. After about a minute he pointed at the pizza and said, "Are you gonna eat that?" You just read what he said. Now read it again at about a tenth of the speed. Now you have how he actually sounded.

I looked up at him and said, "Yeah, I'm gonna eat it, that's why we got it."

He stood there for a couple of seconds more, laughed a little bit and then he stuck out his tongue, put his thumb on his forehead and made a sound. The best way to type the sound would be "pbttffbtbftfbtbtffbftbbttfbfbbz". With that said, he was apparently done and he walked away to his friends across the restaurant.

There's Only Room in Here for One of Your Invisible Friends.
Later than the last story, but still at the Flying Tomato we were sitting at a table visiting with some friends that we hadn't seen in awhile (You see, the Flying tomato was one of the few places that you could go after hours without an ID that was still near campus). As we were talking we noticed a lot of noise coming from the table next to us. When our attention focused that way we noticed that there was only one guy making all that noise. He was arguing with his imaginary friend that was sitting directly across from him. We didn't really pay that much attention to him until about five minutes later he was screaming. It appears as though he had gotten in a fight with his imaginary friend. Not only that, but his second imaginary friend had also joined the fray and was taking the first fake friend's side in the matter.

He was screaming, "Why do you always have to take his side. You never take my side. You never listen to me. Why do you always do that?!!!"

This went on for a little while longer and then finally the manager asked him to leave. When we left, we saw him walking down the sidewalk and we all crossed the street. It's not that we were afraid of him or anything, we just didn't want to make his friends have to step off into the street for us to get by. It was a narrow sidewalk after all.