The Valley has been publishing humiliating and humorous stories since 1999. Some of the content was lost in the great porn fire of 1999, but most still remains. Throughout the years, The Valley has entertained audiences, groomed baby tigers, and avoided the law.

While the beginnings of the web published Valley were in 1999, the origins of The Valley came long before that. If you look back hard enough you can probably see the dorky kid that first published an underground newspaper in order to help him pick up women. He failed miserably, though he continued to push forward until he found that right woman that it would attract.

Through the mid to late nineties we resisted the trend of taking things to the Internet. The phrase, "Oh that Internet, it's just a fad. In two years it will be nothing more than a portal for porn," was frequently uttered around the Valley newsroom. Also known as my kitchen. While the porn did entice us, we stuck to our higher morals though in 1999 we caved and finally became a member of PornNet as we affectionately call it.

It wasn't long after our induction into PornNet that we gained national recognition for our shameless self deprecation. Bret Michaels of Poison is quoted as saying, "Man, you are a fucking genius!" and maybe I am, but I will leave that to all the big thinkers and whatnot to decide. You know, like the guy that writes the greeting cards, or maybe the guy that is the head of the Beta Kappa Phi fraternity. I figure if anyone knows about geniusness then it would be those two guys.

So that's really all I have to say about the Valley, and since you're here I'll go ahead and post some quotes that people like you had to say about me. This next part is really for me so that I have some place to look to make me smile once in awhile, but if you're want to read on, be my guest:

"Any ways, great column" - Casey (comment on a column)

"Oh my God! I almost wet myself!" - David Hood (this was because he thought it was funny, not because of any lack of bladder control)

"My friends all said, 'You uncle's the coolest!'" - My neice Sam.